11th year with YOU.

I never completely understood what it meant to be alive until I finally found You.
I know I’m totally undeserving, but the void in my heart is filled with Your overwhelming love.
Often times, I think about how privileged I am to be chosen by You.
 I’ve been wondering what I’ve done to deserve this kind of love.
An unfathomable love that gives me immense joy.
A love that is so much bigger than all my doubts and fears.

No matter how many times I’ve questioned and rejected You,
You're always there to welcome me back.

It’s humbling to know that amidst my faults and flaws,
You are always and will always be there to embrace me.

Today, marks my 11th year in the Church.
I can say that everything has been so great.
I’ve been so blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who has been helping me become a better person.

Thank You for your constant love, for your words, daily miracles, and unending grace.
Looking at things in a different perspective has refreshed my whole being.
Ever since I've been with You, I’m a completely different person.

I have never been so content and grateful knowing that I am safe in Your love.
A love so real and beautiful.
A love that has slowly unfolded right in front of me, embraced me as a whole, and constantly pursued me. Thank You for your unspeakable gift.

To The Love of my Life

Today I wanna take you back to a time in my life when I had nothing and no one else but my selfish self. There was a time when I so desperately don't know what to do with my life.

It was an awful phase.
And then depression came in and I gained weight. Lots of it you know :)

I lost my will to live life, to laugh, to enjoy the things the world offers.
Until I met the person who changed my life.

(Well that escalated quickly.)

I’ve never been religious. I used to go to Catholic Church once or twice a year.
Until my mom asked me to listen to this preacher...

The first time I heard him preach, I think I felt this thing called love at first hear.

After a few more nights of attending the indoctrination, I finally decided to give in.
I let go of my stubbornness… of the resistance I was feeling upon sumbitting myself in the baptism.

And the world started to feel right.
My insides got squishy and warm and I finally garnered enough courage to say the “Yes, I accept.”

I held His words and my response dearly close to my heart, and with all my being from that moment on, I love Him like I’ve never loved... like the world has never hurt me before.

He made me believe again.
He made me see things from a different perspective.
He made me want to become better for me, and for the people that I love.
He made me see that everything will be better someday...
that no matter how much you are hurting today… tomorrow… to that promised day… everything will heal.

He made me feel all that.

After and beyond all my awfulness, he made me feel again.

As I write these last few lines I try to remember everything good and bad, and how it will all be worth it in the end.

For you, my love, I hope this letter reaches you someday, and I want to tell You just how much it took for me to love You in every single way that I could, despite all my shortcomings, I’m trying.
I’m just a flawed person trying to love like she’s never loved before.

I pray to God for your good health and His continuous guidance to you... that you continue to do your sworn duty to God… that you take care of the people you love, and that you remember that there are people who love you and thankful to God because of you.

Yours always,
K