Baguio is my Haven

Baguio used to be my most favorite place.  

I used to think of it as my retirement place. 

A place to settle down with my future family.

But now, I can't say the same anymore.

Baguio is no longer my fave spot.

Don't get me wrong, that place is still the same wonderful view as ever.

This place is a beautiful escape from the city's pollution and noise.

It has a wonderful weather, lovely scenery - beautiful flowers everywhere, instagramic surroundings,

 strawberries,  jams, clouds, wind, and the people. 

The place feels like you aren't in the Philippines anymore. 

What I like most about it is no matter how late you sleep at night you'd still wish to wake up early 

cause you wouldn't want to miss the morning walk, the morning breeze, and the morning fog.

 

I love the early morning and late night walking.

The happiness of strawberry and coffee combination as breakfast brings.

I still adore the clouds, the trees and the flowers. 

Everything about that place is beautiful. 

Even the not-so-nice smell of horse manure at the Wright Park!

But no, Baguio is not my favorite place anymore. 

This is now my favorite place. 

My home.
A place where i can feel safe and homey. 

A place where I can feel closer to God.

A place where I can be with the nicest people. 

People I consider my family and friends.

Yes, I can be anywhere I want to be...
 but at the end of the day my heart will still yearn for this place - 

The place i call my HAVEN

A Divisoria Experience

After seems like forever, finally i was able to go back to Divisoria with a friend.
Though we're totally exhausted from the long walks with our heavy shopping bags, a Divi experience is worth it and more than fun.

My budget for this retail therapy sesh is no more than 1500php.
At first, I only mean to buy slippers for my everyday use, sort of pambahay kind of slippers.
But then being in divi is like being in a buffet!

Imagine this - A food lover standing in a room full of delectable dishes... and they're all for free!!

Everything in divi is almost as good as free because of its affordable prices.
And if you're good in bargaining, I'm telling you, it's twice as fun.

So, let me show you now some of the things that i purchased yesterday.

Bought these slippers for 350 pesos

(It's initial price is 400pesos)

This pair for 80 pesos
(if you buy 2 pairs you can get both for 150.)

This vitamins for 185

(thou i bought it from a legit store that really sells supplements)

Got this watch for 99 pesos

This white belt for 50 pesos

This cutie patootie 4gb stitch flashdrive is 300 pesos (it's initial price is 350)

 and the stitch earphone is 10 pesos haha (yap you read it right, TEN pesos)

And because sleep is one of my life's essential, 

i got this popoy-inspired magic pillow for 90 pesos

 and this Eye cover for 35pesos

And this big bag of sweet chichacorn for 50php

I also bought 2 blouses which i refused to post cause I don't want people to know which of the clothes i wear are from divi haha. (Though i don't really buy clothes from divisoria cause when it comes to wardrobe I still go for quality over quantity.)

Remember knowing how to bargain is essential if you want to go divisoria shopping. If they don't want to give it to you at cheaper price, just walk away and go to the next store.

Also, be prepared to face a sea of crowd. Expect to be stepped on and shoved many time while shopping. Be extra careful to pickpockets and snatchers.

With all these in mind, you're now good to go to shoppe! Enjoy! :)

Subtextual

Everything about us was subtextual.

We weren't supposed to talk about us.

We weren't supposed to let people know.

We weren't supposed to clear things or make anything complicated.

That was what we were. 

Practically nothing.

We were something that are nothing.

A pseudo-something.

What we had, it felt like love at first... or something that actually existed.

if not mutual understanding atleast anything like that.

I felt like i always wanted to talk to you, to connect or anything.

But things got out of hand...

It became hideous and uncontrollable.

It became something to be afraid of.

And it wasn't supposed to be like that.

Inexplicit... that's how we were supposed to be.

Your Groom is my best man

My guy best friend is getting married!

No, it can't be right.

I just felt a stab in my chest.

I can't breathe. 

It's too much of i can handle!

For so long i've been his only girl.

The apple of his eyes.

How could he do this to me?!

How could he not tell me that he's serious with that marrying thing he always tells me. 

How could i not took him seriously?

I guess i've been so confident that i will always be his girl. 

His only girl. Hah!

No, I'm not ready yet to see him with another girl.

Call me selfish or whatever, but he's my best friend. 

He's the only consistent guy in my life for 10 long years. 

With him i can be with myself: Messy hair, loose clothes, loud voice, crazy laugh, mood swings, even foul mouth. 

He never judged me. 

He never expected anything from me. 

We can stay together in one room for days without getting uncomfortable.

We get mad at each other, argue with each one's opinion, but at the end of the day, we simply laugh about it and tell each other "you win" "no, you win"

So tell me, how can i just give him my blessing to get married?

How can i not be bitter about it?

It's not that i'm jealous because i have a thing for him... trust me, i'm not and i don't.

I'm just afraid that things wont be the same between us ever again.

Who am i fooling? 

Of course things wouldn't be the same again, would it?

Leave me alone

I deserve an explanation but you didn't give me one.  

Now what i need is for you to give me the respect of not making me listen to you explain yourself. 

I need you not to talk to me because you don't deserve to be treated nicely after what you've done.  

I need you to not feel ok losing me and losing my friendship.

I can't force you with the third one, so i'm just gonna insist with the first two. 

Leave.me.alone.

How weird are you?

Sometimes, we meet people who are seem weird.

But due to our social obligations, we put up with them.

We accept them because that's the right thing to do.

And then, we get to know them, like really know them.

And soon we will like them.

We will get so used with their weirdness that we don't even notice it anymore

We won't even see these people as weird at all. 

And eventually, you'll see yourself doing what they do.

And you'll also become seemingly weird to others and they'll put up with you. 

And they'll like you.
And eventually they'll do what you do.

Yes, the world is a big weird thing.

Happy Birthday to me

here's a message for someone...
To the One who's always been there for me.
To the One who saved me in every way a person can be saved.
To the One who never left my side...
who never stop loving me...
of showing me kindness.
Regardless of my shortcomings and wrong doings He's always been there for me, warming me with his love.

I know i don't deserve Him.
I know i keep on letting him down, keep on disappointing him, hurting him...  and I am sorry.

I'm sorry that i know i'll never be worthy of his love and kindness.
I'm sorry that i can never reach up to his expectations.
I'm sorry that i'm a failure.

But this is all i am.
And He is all i got.
And i dont know what i'd do, and where i'd be if he gave up on me...
if he left me or get tired of me.

So up to this moment, i am trying. and fighting... fighting hard.. to be worthy of Him.
To deserve his love. Because that's all i got. His love.
And that's all i need... His love and mercy.

And now that another birthday is coming.. I am thanking Him, for guiding me all this years, for keeping me safe and loved and for making me feel that I am not alone in this fight.

Thank You Lord for making me feel Your presence when everything feels like falling apart.
Thank You for showing me that there's more to life than what we're seeing... than what we're experiencing. Thank You for making me feel secure and for giving me comfort when i am hurt.
Thank You for making me feel strong at times when i am most vulnerable.
Thank You for unceasingly blessing me.
Thank You.

I hope I can put to words exactly how grateful and thankful i am but there's just no enough words to tell how great and kind You are.
So i hope this simple Thank You can say exactly what i want to tell you.
Thank You.