28 on 28th

I don't know why people get kinda obsessed with my age. 

ok, so I'm not telling them how old i am, so what? Why the big deal?

But today I decided to solve the freaking mystery here.

There's really no reason why I aint telling anyone my age.
It's just for my own satisfaction.
It just feels good to have something to hold back to people.
Yeah, just that. It's not because of something important.
But apparently, curiosity is people's natural characteristic.
The more you prefer not to share it with them, the more they want to know it.

So there goes my reason.

It's not because i'm afraid of getting old whatsoever!
Trust me I'm not. 

Specially when i know that i look younger than my real age (ok kath where's the modesty here? haha

In reality  I'm a bit looking forward to old age.
Old age means knowledge.
And I'm a sucker for knowledge.
I'm curious to what the future will actually bring.

And well, to tell the truth here, I wanna get old... ok, but not too old. 

45 is "too" old for me haha. And I'm honestly hoping for a good riddance before I get "too old" (oh, please, don't judge haha) 

Writing this blog makes me think if I can still pull off the 4-years younger joke in the future... well, i hope so. hihi.

So what makes today special?

Been hiding my real age since seventeen and I think I've done enough hiding already.

So today I want the world to know that on 28th I'm going to be 28!

Yes, that's what make it special.

I'm actually proud and happy of reaching this age.
I'm grateful for everything I have now that I've reached this age.

I have everything that I need.

Everything that I SHOULD have. 

I'm living my life as a Christian and I am trying my hardest to serve my purpose. I am blessed and loved. 

So yes, I think I'm living my life to the fullest. 

And I am thankful because never did it occur to me that I'll actually reach this age feeling fulfilled and happy.

Appreciate them

We shouldn't take advantage of the person who's always there for us. 

Yes, it may seem to us that they wont go anywhere,
that they will always stay no matter what,
but it wont happen.

You see, its kinda tiring to love a person when
all that person gave in return is heartache.

So love back that person who loves you and
stays with you through hardships.
let them feel how much they mean to you before it's too late.
before that person gets tired of you...
before that person thinks that you are not worth it.

before they feel used and wronged.

Appreciate them, seriously.

Nonsensical Pain

I'm not fine. 

I'm hurt and bruised, not physically of course 

but I think hurting physically is better than to what I feel right now. 

I need to make myself feel better.

I need to nurse my heart back to health... back to usefulness. 

My tearduct is like an open dam, I feel like crying all the time.

You know i've never liked nonsensical pain. 

I dont like feeling miserable and pathetic. 

Damn that person who made me feel this shit.

Why do I have to feel crap over the loss of something I never had?

Damaged

You've broken me beyond recognition.
Beyond Repair.

Misinterpretation

Know the difference between holding a hand and falling in love.
Sometimes people just need a company.
Don't misunderstand them.

You should know that words don’t always mean something.
Sometimes they just tell you things because they need you to stay for a while,
but not for good.
Don't misunderstand them.

Promises can always be broken.
It's not always empty promises. Its just that sometimes when you're there for them, they feel so happy and grateful that they tend to make promises they don't really mean. They were just too happy.
Don't misunderstand them.

And sometimes even if it is hard to believe, goodbyes are forever.
When it's not for you, let it go. Don't keep holding on.
It's not that they stop liking you, its just that things don't always fall as you like them to be.
Try to understand.

Let them fight for you

A right love is always worth fighting for, no matter how hard it is, if you're fighting for the right reason, you do it with happy heart, right? 

But... Yes, there's a but... but sometimes,
you cannot be the one who is fighting.
There are some times that it's the other people who need to fight for you.
Because it's their turn now.
But If they don’t, you can't do anything about it.
 You just have to move on,
and realize that what you gave them was more than what they are willing to provide.

People are like that, learn to deal with it.

Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for.

Back to my childhood fear

I finally learned how to ride a bike!
Yeah I know, it's funny right?
I've been in existence for like... Oops, i'm not gonna tell the world my age...
So yeah, it's funny that i reached this age and yet i never learned how to ride a bike.
It's not that i never tried, believe me i did.
But i was too pussy way back haha.
I'm scared to be hurt, and blood means death when i was a kid,
so i never pushed through learning it until last night.
As I continuously swerve wildly off course at the beginning and fell for like a thousand times, by 2:00am I was able to do it!
I can't tell you how i feel when i was able to pedal without falling.
It feels like i was able to overcome one of my biggest fear.
Bicycling has been my biggest frustration and being able to do it is more than an achivement!
I'm thankful that i learned it without wounds and blood
though there's like a hundred of bruises in my legs haha.

Thanks to kim and kuya gil for teaching me patiently.