Pause for a while

I could really use a vacation right now.
Somewhere a little far.
Somewhere new.
Some place that could wow me and take my mind off of things that have been keeping me awake at night.
It's kinda depressing y'know.
All of these things, they are sad as they are.
I know I shouldn't feel crappy, no christian should.
And what makes it more depressing is because i kinda feel like i do.
So i want to pause for a second.
I want to take a break from all of these.
Everything just reminds me of last year and i'm struggling too hard to survive each day without breaking down infront of anyone.
As devastating as it is, i'm hoping that I won't be bothered anymore by someone coz atleast I know if i get through this phase,
i'll be fine.
I know i will...
... with God's help.